poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (I'm doing this for you...)
I guess there must be something wrong with my body/looks then, since everyone keeps telling me I'm such a nice, funny and loveable person.

Please excuse me, just pondering on why it seems like I can't find someone to connect with on a romantic level. Right now I'm in that deep valley where you wonder if anyone will ever put a 'girl' before the 'friend' when talking about you. The place where you think that you'll never find someone because it didn't work out this time either.

And I better kick my ass and get out of it soon, since I'm tired of crying. And I have good friends who're here for me. I should be satisfied with that, since it's more than I've ever had. Somewhere out there it's someone waiting for me, someone who'll kiss my tears away instead of just drying them. Someone who'll love to hold me, and tell me that in a sweet whisper. Someone who'll stomach all these complains I'm spewing out.

Sorry, I'll try and go to sleep now. I just want to move on...

(In case you're wondering, then it's just that I'm just pretty sure now that the guy I'm interested in isn't interested back. And it's not that good for my self-love.)
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
Time is passing by,
in the small and in the big,
wherever you are from or go.

It flows like the rivers,
crashes down like the raging waves
and howls like the wind.

Behind or before,
no one can escape its grip.

In the flames we see the past flashing by,
on the earth we thread with naked feet,
as it passes all around us.

Please keep holding my hand,
the big scares me,
even if time passes by for everything.

Even for love and sadness,
it wears down the cruelest of scars,
until we can at last see the whole picture.

With you by my side,
the picture is clear as ice,
sparkling like the fireworks in the sky.

As time passes by,
even for the big and small in everything,
I only want you to keep hanging on.

When you thread this earth,
embrace the time and the world,
trust me,
my words will forever be with the wind.

I love you, my friends. Happy New Year~!
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)


A song I want to give to all of you women I know has gone through loss, through hard times and pain and death. I know all of you have a little life in you yet, a little strength left. And if you ever need more, just talk to me. You who read this, we might not talk that much, we might talk at every moment we can, we might share a language and we might be so far away two people possibly can.

But I am here. Not to redeem myself before myself, not since I want to feel better (honestly, I feel too much for other people's pain...) but since I CARE. I care too much sometimes, true, and some might find me unnerving. And I accept that. You think that I am too much, push me away. You feel like talking later, I'm here.

As they say in one of my favorite Arcs in One Piece; I (WE ARE) AM HERE. This is my giant, golden bell ringing out to you.
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
Title: You fell down here, but your sins are repeated once again.
Character/s: Amazons/Boa/Luffy, Zoro/Sanji/Ace, Killer/Kidd/Law
Song: Fallen Angel
Artist:  L'Âme Immortelle
Rating: T
Warnings: 2/3 AU, emotional pain, alcohol
Disclaimers: I do not own anything of this. Only the idea and the words. Character belongs to Oda-sensei, music to L'Âme Immortelle.

Thank you sooo much for your help~ )
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
Then I would load my cell full, call [livejournal.com profile] slowsunrise  and send messages to all of my friends in the Scouts, saying that I love them. I would ask the girl I'm in love with (who doesn't love me back) if I could get to kiss her, just once. I would do everything I could to send a letter to Oda-sensei and say that I love his work and that I hope he'll always be as awesome as he is.

Then I would try and call [livejournal.com profile] stini_c  too, for once get to hear her voice. And while I was on that, I would ask her to give my greatest love to [livejournal.com profile] vtm577 and Chrissy. I would send messages to one of my Leading Stars and ask her to tell the others' that they meant EVERYTHING for me in 8th grade, I would probably have cut myself if it hadn't been for them. I would tell a girl in my class that I think she acts like a complaining bitch and all the others that they for God's sake needs to stand up for themselves and say things to each others' faces instead.

Also, I would put up chapters which told what was planned to happen in all of my fanfictions!

And during all this time, I would want [livejournal.com profile] sweden_chan  and my parents next to me. Maybe even sweden_chan's parents, they've also meant a lot to me. I would send such great hugs I just could to my extra mother. I would...

I would cry. I would laugh. I would wish that it wasn't happening. I would wish it could just come. Since if I knew I were going to die today, then the wait would be much worse than the happening. But maybe that's not true either.

The worst... Would be leaving all the people I love behind. I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of hurting you guys I've listed!! I love you all. Please never forget that...
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (These familiar streets)
Title: These Familiar Streets
Pairing: Zoro X Sanji
Setting: Modern day Kyoto
Rating: M
Chapter: Prologue
Summary: After almost three years in Tokyo, Sanji now returns to Kyoto to fight in that war again. Problem is, now he also has to face the lover and the life he left behind.
Thanks to: My beta [livejournal.com profile] unseen_daydream and [livejournal.com profile] stini_c 
Dedication: [livejournal.com profile] slowsunrise  and this chapter, the amazing [info]stini_c

Prologue )
 
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
 Oh ma God, just bought, watched and LOVED 'Happy Feet'. Seriously, those voices, the animations... I love penguins~~~ X3

Move me baby, move me to da beat.
Shoot me baby, blast my chest out.
Leave nothing there, for someone else to steal.
I dance to only your rhythm, I'm a slave for you.
Blast it away, make me move to only you.
Make my heart beat so hard, it breaks.
Then move da bits to your rhythm.
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
 Don't you also hate it when you're breaking? You're head and heart is killing you and it feels just like nothing works out. For. No. FUCKING. REASON!!
Shit, feels like my head will split in two and I need a hug so desperately that I think I could kill for it. Ok, scratch 'think'. I'm an antisocial person, not cute and I hate sunshine. End of story, I'm unlovable.

Today

May. 26th, 2010 10:33 pm
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
Was a quit nice day. I hated LJ half the time, before I got how the hell I had to do for copying and pasting, but now  [livejournal.com profile] vtm577 's challenge is out on [livejournal.com profile] onepieceyaoi  >w<
And yesterday and the day before that I met my Nee-chans, I'm so happy about it! You guys rocks, I'm so glad I got in contact with you through celestial involvement (read: [livejournal.com profile] stini_c ) >w> Anyway, live's hard and life is fun, I've finally found Revolutionary Girl Utena and Sousei no Aquarion again.
Adding all this together, my prao isn't that bad XD

(Felt like writing a little strange/dark poem, read if you want to~)

You have tied me up:
Put chains and chakles on my wrists and neck.
Are you so afraid of me leaving you:
Deceiving you again?
That kiss of yours is so passionate:
It burns my flesh to the bone:
Boils my blood to lava.
So I don't care:
The chains ain't that heavy.
And I know that I have your heart between my jaws.
So don't play to much:
Don't be too jealous.
Since it'll be your end~
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
I am but a mere soldier,
I am stuck in a cruel reality.
Can't you hold my heart,
Can't you guard my kindness in this bloodsoaked world.
Never will I be pure again,
Never will I see the face of God.
Can't you sing me a lullaby,
Can't you heal my wounds.
I am nothing but darkness and war,
Never will I be worthy you.


And I ended up writing yet another one! This is the answer one to the other... Can you see the picture?
 

poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
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Words and A-chan so far...

I can't go a day without listening to beautiful lyrics, writing a poem or reading/writing a story X3 It's like the air I breath, something I need to survive. Wihtout it I wither and loses my best way to express myself.

And A-chan will probably forever remain in my heart, even when I find someone who loves me back lika a lover. Now, she's "only" my best friend and sister in heart. Never will I forget her, if she is taken by the Grim Reaper before her time I'll tattoo her name on my skin.

My love

Feb. 2nd, 2010 01:53 pm
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
My love is like the flowerbud in the window,
it never got a chance to blossom.
My love is like a broken mirror,
reflecting everything in little pieces.
My love is like...
Nothing you'll never see,
since it is me.
I need to guard this heart so it doesn't run away again,
but I know that that will fail.
I will fall again,
my love won't blossom again.
It'll be like a broken mirror again,
the pieces cutting my fingers.
I just pray that the pain will fade away fastly,
so that my love can blossom,
can reflect everything
and can let me be me!
 
(I couldn't resist writing another poem, I need to do it for keep going on... My fingers are bleeding from trying to type, even if nothing comes out.)

I will...

Feb. 1st, 2010 02:11 pm
poet_at_heart: Comes from dA. (Default)
I have fallen for you.
But now I will let go of you,
and fall down even harder to the concrete bellow.
All for letting you be with the one you want.

And then,
I know that you will lend me a hand to pull me up again.
I will stand after this pain,
live through it and try to smile as you kiss him.
Even if the tears surely will spill over.

But...
Best friends forever,
that doesn't sound too bad either!
As long as I know you smile,
that long I will let you be.

If he hurts you
I will castrate him before I slowly strangle him.
But only if you get to feel this pain.
Right now,
I will just lie here until I can stand again.
 
 

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