poet_at_heart | (no subject) (Reply)

Contact over internet
Good and bad

If you’re reading this on a computer screen, watch out! I might be a pedophile or general perverted and depraved human trying to coax you into meeting me so I can use you for my personal lusts. Or I might be a soul mate. The internet has opened up unlimited access to meeting people from all over the world through cyberspace. Both good and bad relations have sprung from contact between people who barely know each other. We hear every day about young women falling victim to rapist they’ve met over the net, old men pretending to be little girls and handsome young men, just to gain trust. But not all stories are sad or horrible, as I can prove.

About one and a half year ago, I wrote a review on a story which a girl from Sweden had published online. We started talking, discussing the opinions we shared on comics we both read and the stories the two of us published. Through the site’s Personal Message service, we connected and after some months the things we talked about had drifted away from the stories and into our likes and dislikes in general. After some joking back and forth with threats of “the nuclear weapons in our closets”, we shared e-mail addresses and moved our talking from the site to Msn.

It is hard to describe how it all went along. It grew without us noticing it, our friendship sprung from almost nothing into something which now is very important in both our lives. From strangers on the internet, we became best friends.

But, we both know about the dangers in having contact with people in cyberspace. Or more exactly, the danger in meeting these people in real life, as I mentioned earlier in this text. Which I think we both took in regard as we started talking about meeting up, during the summer when we both had summer vacation. Our greatest measurement was meeting up on a convention for people interested in manga, anime or Japanese popular culture in general, before I would visit her place.

Now, I need to make a deviation to explain some things about our circumstances so that you fully can understand the following text. For the first, I live in the middle of Sweden, more to the north, while she lives in Scania in the south. This brought on the condition that we were completely limited to internet for communication, as you shall not give your phone number, mobile or stationary, to strangers. Secondly, the site we met through is directed at people who are interested in writing stories for already existing characters from other series. We connected through the fandom for One Piece, a manga and anime from Japan.

So, we met up during that convention, namely UppCon 2010 in Uppsala the spring 2010. And we could both observe that the other had spoken the truth about their identity. Neither of us was or is a rapist trying to fool young girls or boys into traps so that we can take advantage of them.

We spent a lot of time together during UppCon to see if we could stand each other in real life or if we were better fitted for contact over the internet. As it turned out, our humor and common likes made us fully capable of being friends outside of cyberspace too and we stood firm by our decision of meeting during the summer vacation.

In July I booked my tickets down to Scania and in August I jumped on the train and travelled down for a week of interaction. I won’t wax on about what we did, but I think I can say that we had a really good time, spent with movies and a lot of talking.

So yes, good things can come from meeting strangers over the internet, as long as you are cautious. Cautious about what they say and who they are, you have to think this way about everyone you’re keeping contact with over the internet, even family. Since that is the other side of the coin; once I was fooled by a man who pretended to be my older cousin, whom I’ve had little contact with the last years.

He started talking to me very naturally. After sending a message to me he acted like his initial words about sex toys had been a mistake and that it was meant for someone else. And with that, we started talking; me believing that it was my cousin wanted to talk about sex and he trying to get me to do things for him.

Nothing serious happened, I never took a picture of my private parts to send him nor showed him my face, but now afterwards it is a slightly jarring experience. It has made me really think about whom I talk to and if I can trust the person to be the one he or she claims that he/she is. If a friend start talking about strange things, a little bell rings in my head and I try to check if it really is my friend.

It is not hard to test them, ask about things you know only you two talks about, and ask personal questions only the true person can answer. Even if it feels odd it is a very good method which can save you from many troubles. While I am warning, I also want to point at strange e-mails. If you do not know the sender, do not open the mail. Does it seem like something related to an organization you’re a part of, check with other people within the organization whether or not they have received the same mail. It doesn’t need to become complicated.

But if you by any chance would leave out your personal information, get a virus or someone starts to abuse you, there are some ways to stop it. If you give out bank information, go to the bank and tell them to block the account and then tell the police. Someone harasses you over Msn or something like that, block them and avoid accepting friend requests from people you do not know. You should also take the IP-address and report it to the police. In any case where you feel sexually harassed or bullied, take contact with the authorities and they can help you, since both these actions are crimes.

So to conclude everything, there are both good and bad parts with internet. But if you are cautious, the good parts will weight up the bad and you can find many important friends. Don’t be afraid to take contact, but be careful of who you give your personal information. For example, never give out your bank information, friends don’t need that. Cyberspace is for fun and contact, so if we all think before acting, it will continue to be so.