poet_at_heart | Entries tagged with pain

Okay... So, I've been about to ask this a couple of times, but never gotten to it. But since it's the reason to one of the resent fights between me and one of the persons I love more than I should, going by the fact that I've never met her... I just have to get it of my chest:

DOES ANYONE OF MY ONLINE FRIENDS LIKE LADY GAGA!?

And, for God's sake, don't comment with why you don't like her. That's not what I want to know. What I want to know is if I'm the only one in my circle of friends who likes this copycat and slut. I feel like the black sheep here. And just for the record: I don't know a lot about Madonna or David Bowie, I don't think too much about what Lady Gaga wears and I just happen to like most of her popular music.

I know it's superficial, commercial and all that shit. But I just happen to find it catchy and sometimes 'Born this way' is what gives me strength to walk when I want to topple over. And every time someone tells me that they dislike her, my bad self-esteem makes it into a fucking slap across my face. So I'm the one at fault for over-reacting. Because for some fucking reason, the opinion of people here on the internet matters more to me than the ones in RL.

Why? Because you are guys I've been fully capable of choosing myself to spend time with. Not classmates or scouts I've been put together with, but people I feel that I have a connection with through simple, written words. So your opinions matters big time to me, since that's just how weak I am.

And please, I'm not fishing for any damn sympathy here, I'm just trying to explain my behavior. Nothing more than that, and a question about just how "unique" I am to like Lady Gaga.

Right now I feel Because I feel like an idiot
Right now I'm at My bed
Right now I'm listening to Watercolour - Pendulum

Now I've started the real countdown to when

slowsunrise comes here. The countdown will be done by watching one episode of baccano every day 16 days onward and the first one was watched today. I was... Confused, to say the least.

Sure, the music and the animation is to die for, but I think it'll take a while before I can get the whole plotline and all the characters. Maybe because the first two characters introduced about five sets of different characters involved in strange events. Please also note my innability to remember names .w.

And then I need to kick my own ass and get down to write on Streets and that prize-fic for

slowsunrise. And kick my ass for fucking up my dear Stini's work... God, I'm shit-scared of talking ot her now TT.TT Sure I didn't know that her computer was that crappy, but I still feel bad for making her lose 18 pages... *bangs head in wall*

So to summaries this random entry nr 189, I'm in a kinda crappy mood and feels for maffia. Anyone out there who would like to try a RPG with me? I'm fairly good at it, just ask

sweden_chan. And go see if you can snatch one of those two remaining prize-fics.

Right now I feel melancholy
Right now I'm at School
Right now I'm listening to Dolls - Kagamine Rin

I quote Television Tropes:

LJ is also, for unclear reasons, the most popular host for Russian-language bloggers; the Russian term for blogging is derived from the Russian name of LiveJournal. The Russian content on LJ is a lot more like the rest of the English language blogosphere, and a number of high-profile Russian politicians maintain LJs. The Russian-speaking and English-speaking side of LJ rarely interact, although LJ is now owned by a Russian company.

Well, shit, that explains a lot 8\/

Right now I feel bitchy
Right now I'm at School library
Right now I'm listening to Never wanted to dance - Mindless Selfindulgence

Originally posted by

neo_prodigy at Spirit Day

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.

RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)

REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.

Title: Please tell me this is just a nightmare.
Song: Alone in this bed
Artist: Framing Hanley
(Words:) 942 words.
Rating: T (Nothing serious, just a bit of pain and emotional stress.)
Warnings: Uh, nothing. It's a bit of Zoro's POV about two years before 'These familiar streets' starts. Couldn't help but write something about it ^^'
Disclaimers: Of course I own this! NOT! I only owns the idea, music and Zoro belongs to their respective owners.

( Is this a songfic? )

Right now I feel awake
Right now I'm at My room
Right now I'm listening to Discotheque

The rain goes drip, drip, drip.
The tears go drip, drip, drip.
A cloud is alone, drip, drip, drip.
A girl is alone, drip, drip, drip.
The cloud sails on, drip, drip, drip.
The girl is stuck.

Right now, my eyes are grey.
Now, when I stand before you,
my eyes are as grey as the clouds in the sky.
But I wish they were green as the forest I love,
or the sea I adore.
Still, they are grey like iron.
Tomorrow,
they might be like new leaves,
or a glittering wave.
Today, they are iron clouds.

I'm an asshole for pouring pout my shit over others, please forgive me for being human.

Right now I feel sore
Right now I'm at School library
Right now I'm listening to I can't let you go

Was a quit nice day. I hated LJ half the time, before I got how the hell I had to do for copying and pasting, but now

vtm577 's challenge is out on

onepieceyaoi >w<
And yesterday and the day before that I met my Nee-chans, I'm so happy about it! You guys rocks, I'm so glad I got in contact with you through celestial involvement (read:

stini_c ) >w> Anyway, live's hard and life is fun, I've finally found Revolutionary Girl Utena and Sousei no Aquarion again.
Adding all this together, my prao isn't that bad XD

(Felt like writing a little strange/dark poem, read if you want to~)

You have tied me up:
Put chains and chakles on my wrists and neck.
Are you so afraid of me leaving you:
Deceiving you again?
That kiss of yours is so passionate:
It burns my flesh to the bone:
Boils my blood to lava.
So I don't care:
The chains ain't that heavy.
And I know that I have your heart between my jaws.
So don't play to much:
Don't be too jealous.
Since it'll be your end~

Right now I feel cheerful
Right now I'm at My room
Right now I'm listening to Morning star

I'm 18! I have to take responsibility! And vote! And a lot of other boring things! ;__;

But, at least I'll get an amazing story by my Lion-tan;

slowsunrise here on LJ! My 'the Sun's Dark Secret' will come out today! *is overjoyed* *w*

Right now I feel frustrated
Right now I'm at School library
Right now I'm listening to Hearts on fire by Hammerfall

I am but a mere soldier,
I am stuck in a cruel reality.

Can't you hold my heart,

Can't you guard my kindness in this bloodsoaked world.
Never will I be pure again,
Never will I see the face of God.
Can't you sing me a lullaby,
Can't you heal my wounds.
I am nothing but darkness and war,
Never will I be worthy you.

And I ended up writing yet another one! This is the answer one to the other... Can you see the picture?

Right now I feel artistic
Right now I'm at Home
Right now I'm listening to Daughter of Blood

My love is like the flowerbud in the window,
it never got a chance to blossom.
My love is like a broken mirror,
reflecting everything in little pieces.
My love is like...
Nothing you'll never see,
since it is me.
I need to guard this heart so it doesn't run away again,
but I know that that will fail.
I will fall again,
my love won't blossom again.
It'll be like a broken mirror again,
the pieces cutting my fingers.
I just pray that the pain will fade away fastly,
so that my love can blossom,
can reflect everything
and can let me be me!

(I couldn't resist writing another poem, I need to do it for keep going on... My fingers are bleeding from trying to type, even if nothing comes out.)

Right now I feel artistic
Right now I'm at School
Right now I'm listening to Just be friends

I have fallen for you.
But now I will let go of you,

and fall down even harder to the concrete bellow.
All for letting you be with the one you want.

And then,
I know that you will lend me a hand to pull me up again.
I will stand after this pain,
live through it and try to smile as you kiss him.
Even if the tears surely will spill over.

But...
Best friends forever,
that doesn't sound too bad either!
As long as I know you smile,
that long I will let you be.

If he hurts you
I will castrate him before I slowly strangle him.
But only if you get to feel this pain.
Right now,
I will just lie here until I can stand again.

Right now I feel thoughtful
Right now I'm at School
Right now I'm listening to Actions speaks louder than words

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
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4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

I live on the dark side of the moon.

So sorry for the randomness.

DON'T comment in case you DISlike Lady Gaga.

(no subject)

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Spirit Day

Posts it here too~

(no subject)

Today

OMFG!!

A tainted one's wish

My love

I will...

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December 2011

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