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And many asked how I was and what happened, I decided to make an explanation here of what I've been up to this summer/fall.
( I'm also sorry for spamming your Friends List with this, but I just needed to write it off. >.<' )
I guess there must be something wrong with my body/looks then, since everyone keeps telling me I'm such a nice, funny and loveable person.
Please excuse me, just pondering on why it seems like I can't find someone to connect with on a romantic level. Right now I'm in that deep valley where you wonder if anyone will ever put a 'girl' before the 'friend' when talking about you. The place where you think that you'll never find someone because it didn't work out this time either.
And I better kick my ass and get out of it soon, since I'm tired of crying. And I have good friends who're here for me. I should be satisfied with that, since it's more than I've ever had. Somewhere out there it's someone waiting for me, someone who'll kiss my tears away instead of just drying them. Someone who'll love to hold me, and tell me that in a sweet whisper. Someone who'll stomach all these complains I'm spewing out.
Sorry, I'll try and go to sleep now. I just want to move on...
(In case you're wondering, then it's just that I'm just pretty sure now that the guy I'm interested in isn't interested back. And it's not that good for my self-love.)
Please excuse me, just pondering on why it seems like I can't find someone to connect with on a romantic level. Right now I'm in that deep valley where you wonder if anyone will ever put a 'girl' before the 'friend' when talking about you. The place where you think that you'll never find someone because it didn't work out this time either.
And I better kick my ass and get out of it soon, since I'm tired of crying. And I have good friends who're here for me. I should be satisfied with that, since it's more than I've ever had. Somewhere out there it's someone waiting for me, someone who'll kiss my tears away instead of just drying them. Someone who'll love to hold me, and tell me that in a sweet whisper. Someone who'll stomach all these complains I'm spewing out.
Sorry, I'll try and go to sleep now. I just want to move on...
(In case you're wondering, then it's just that I'm just pretty sure now that the guy I'm interested in isn't interested back. And it's not that good for my self-love.)
(no subject)
Apr. 4th, 2011 11:06 amNow I've started the real countdown to when
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slowsunrise comes here. The countdown will be done by watching one episode of baccano every day 16 days onward and the first one was watched today. I was... Confused, to say the least.Sure, the music and the animation is to die for, but I think it'll take a while before I can get the whole plotline and all the characters. Maybe because the first two characters introduced about five sets of different characters involved in strange events. Please also note my innability to remember names .w.
And then I need to kick my own ass and get down to write on Streets and that prize-fic for
slowsunrise. And kick my ass for fucking up my dear Stini's work... God, I'm shit-scared of talking ot her now TT.TT Sure I didn't know that her computer was that crappy, but I still feel bad for making her lose 18 pages... *bangs head in wall*So to summaries this random entry nr 189, I'm in a kinda crappy mood and feels for maffia. Anyone out there who would like to try a RPG with me? I'm fairly good at it, just ask
sweden_chan. And go see if you can snatch one of those two remaining prize-fics.(no subject)
Mar. 14th, 2011 03:53 pm( If you don't doubt the human race's perfection and the fact that Mother Nature needs us very much, don't read this. )
These thoughts came to me when the "first" tsunami hit Thailand in the year of 2004. I was 12 years old then and these thoughts has followed me ever since. Sorry if they make you uncomfortable, but I needed to write them down.
Edit: Please read my answer to all the other comments before commenting, I've started to re-value but am too lazy to change the actual post.
(no subject)
Feb. 27th, 2011 07:21 pmOh my fucking God, how much did I need slowsunrise now? I needed her like air under water, dudes, so seeing her online made my previously very shitty evening light up like a fucking lighthouse.
I hate annual meetings, especially when I am not respected due to my age and my need to entertain my hands so I won't talk. I especially hate it when I'm told to be quiet when I'm not the only one talking/reacting. Don't tell me it's a democracy when I'm ignored, please.
So now, if you excuse me, I'll lock myself up in my room and listen to 'Born this way' and 'Perfect to me' while talking to my Lion-tan. Have this meme in the mean time:
Day 1: Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
1. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it.
2. I can write poems and stories with a feeling in them.
3. I have a heart which I feel with and I care about others.
4. I do my best in giving others respect.
5. I am very aware that I am not perfect.
Edit: 6. I can make beautiful bouquets and arrangements, and I do very good in school overall.
7. I am me:
( The other sins~ )
Btw, is there anything with me I should change?
slowsunrise now? I needed her like air under water, dudes, so seeing her online made my previously very shitty evening light up like a fucking lighthouse.I hate annual meetings, especially when I am not respected due to my age and my need to entertain my hands so I won't talk. I especially hate it when I'm told to be quiet when I'm not the only one talking/reacting. Don't tell me it's a democracy when I'm ignored, please.
So now, if you excuse me, I'll lock myself up in my room and listen to 'Born this way' and 'Perfect to me' while talking to my Lion-tan. Have this meme in the mean time:
Day 1: Pride. Seven great things about yourself.
1. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it.
2. I can write poems and stories with a feeling in them.
3. I have a heart which I feel with and I care about others.
4. I do my best in giving others respect.
5. I am very aware that I am not perfect.
Edit: 6. I can make beautiful bouquets and arrangements, and I do very good in school overall.
7. I am me:
( The other sins~ )
Btw, is there anything with me I should change?
(no subject)
Oct. 19th, 2010 09:30 amTitle: These Familiar Streets
Pairing: Zoro X Sanji, Luffy X Nami
Setting: Modern day Kyoto
Rating: M
Chapter: 5
Summary: After almost three years in Tokyo, Sanji now returns to Kyoto to fight in that war again. Problem is, now he also has to face the lover and the life he left behind.
Thanks to: My betaunseen_daydream
( Chapter 5~ )
Pairing: Zoro X Sanji, Luffy X Nami
Setting: Modern day Kyoto
Rating: M
Chapter: 5
Summary: After almost three years in Tokyo, Sanji now returns to Kyoto to fight in that war again. Problem is, now he also has to face the lover and the life he left behind.
Thanks to: My beta
unseen_daydream Spirit Day
Oct. 5th, 2010 11:43 pmOriginally posted by neo_prodigy at Spirit Day 
It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.
RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)
REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.
neo_prodigy at Spirit DayIt’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes at at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools.
RIP Tyler Clementi, Seth Walsh (top)
RIP Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase (middle)
RIP Asher Brown and Billy Lucas. (bottom)
REBLOG to spread a message of love, unity and peace.
The list of hate and love
Jul. 21st, 2010 01:03 amMany people have told me not to hate myself... So I made a list of reasons to why I should hate or love myself;
( Reasons to why I should hate/love myself... )
( Reasons to why I should hate/love myself... )
Posts it here too~
Jun. 24th, 2010 09:24 amTitle: Please tell me this is just a nightmare.
Song: Alone in this bed
Artist: Framing Hanley
(Words:) 942 words.
Rating: T (Nothing serious, just a bit of pain and emotional stress.)
Warnings: Uh, nothing. It's a bit of Zoro's POV about two years before 'These familiar streets' starts. Couldn't help but write something about it ^^'
Disclaimers: Of course I own this! NOT! I only owns the idea, music and Zoro belongs to their respective owners.
( Is this a songfic? )
Song: Alone in this bed
Artist: Framing Hanley
(Words:) 942 words.
Rating: T (Nothing serious, just a bit of pain and emotional stress.)
Warnings: Uh, nothing. It's a bit of Zoro's POV about two years before 'These familiar streets' starts. Couldn't help but write something about it ^^'
Disclaimers: Of course I own this! NOT! I only owns the idea, music and Zoro belongs to their respective owners.
( Is this a songfic? )
(no subject)
Jun. 15th, 2010 08:07 pm Go into my ear,
be as a worm inside my skull,
eat away everything hurting me.
Eat it and spit it out,
trample it beneath your foot just for my sake.
Hold me oh so crushing close,
lift me above this crying crowd I despise,
let my tears soak your cloth.
Talk to me,
drown out all this noise in my head,
I'm going truly mad now.
Fuck,
I need you so.
be as a worm inside my skull,
eat away everything hurting me.
Eat it and spit it out,
trample it beneath your foot just for my sake.
Hold me oh so crushing close,
lift me above this crying crowd I despise,
let my tears soak your cloth.
Talk to me,
drown out all this noise in my head,
I'm going truly mad now.
Fuck,
I need you so.
Ah, somewhat a message to all of you wonderful persons who have listened to all of my shit and still wants contact with me... Memorial services are a bitch, especially when it's a lot of people. And the ones being mourned was murdered by a relative. Shit, I need you guys again I think ;_____;
(no subject)
Jun. 1st, 2010 11:46 amThe rain goes drip, drip, drip.
The tears go drip, drip, drip.
A cloud is alone, drip, drip, drip.
A girl is alone, drip, drip, drip.
The cloud sails on, drip, drip, drip.
The girl is stuck.
Right now, my eyes are grey.
Now, when I stand before you,
my eyes are as grey as the clouds in the sky.
But I wish they were green as the forest I love,
or the sea I adore.
Still, they are grey like iron.
Tomorrow,
they might be like new leaves,
or a glittering wave.
Today, they are iron clouds.
I'm an asshole for pouring pout my shit over others, please forgive me for being human.
(no subject)
May. 31st, 2010 10:01 pm Don't you also hate it when you're breaking? You're head and heart is killing you and it feels just like nothing works out. For. No. FUCKING. REASON!!
Shit, feels like my head will split in two and I need a hug so desperately that I think I could kill for it. Ok, scratch 'think'. I'm an antisocial person, not cute and I hate sunshine. End of story, I'm unlovable.
Shit, feels like my head will split in two and I need a hug so desperately that I think I could kill for it. Ok, scratch 'think'. I'm an antisocial person, not cute and I hate sunshine. End of story, I'm unlovable.
I have fallen for you.
But now I will let go of you,
But now I will let go of you,
and fall down even harder to the concrete bellow.
All for letting you be with the one you want.
And then,
I know that you will lend me a hand to pull me up again.
I will stand after this pain,
live through it and try to smile as you kiss him.
Even if the tears surely will spill over.
But...
Best friends forever,
that doesn't sound too bad either!
As long as I know you smile,
that long I will let you be.
If he hurts you
I will castrate him before I slowly strangle him.
But only if you get to feel this pain.
Right now,
I will just lie here until I can stand again.
All for letting you be with the one you want.
And then,
I know that you will lend me a hand to pull me up again.
I will stand after this pain,
live through it and try to smile as you kiss him.
Even if the tears surely will spill over.
But...
Best friends forever,
that doesn't sound too bad either!
As long as I know you smile,
that long I will let you be.
If he hurts you
I will castrate him before I slowly strangle him.
But only if you get to feel this pain.
Right now,
I will just lie here until I can stand again.
