poet_at_heart | Entries tagged with inside

Okay... So, I've been about to ask this a couple of times, but never gotten to it. But since it's the reason to one of the resent fights between me and one of the persons I love more than I should, going by the fact that I've never met her... I just have to get it of my chest:

DOES ANYONE OF MY ONLINE FRIENDS LIKE LADY GAGA!?

And, for God's sake, don't comment with why you don't like her. That's not what I want to know. What I want to know is if I'm the only one in my circle of friends who likes this copycat and slut. I feel like the black sheep here. And just for the record: I don't know a lot about Madonna or David Bowie, I don't think too much about what Lady Gaga wears and I just happen to like most of her popular music.

I know it's superficial, commercial and all that shit. But I just happen to find it catchy and sometimes 'Born this way' is what gives me strength to walk when I want to topple over. And every time someone tells me that they dislike her, my bad self-esteem makes it into a fucking slap across my face. So I'm the one at fault for over-reacting. Because for some fucking reason, the opinion of people here on the internet matters more to me than the ones in RL.

Why? Because you are guys I've been fully capable of choosing myself to spend time with. Not classmates or scouts I've been put together with, but people I feel that I have a connection with through simple, written words. So your opinions matters big time to me, since that's just how weak I am.

And please, I'm not fishing for any damn sympathy here, I'm just trying to explain my behavior. Nothing more than that, and a question about just how "unique" I am to like Lady Gaga.

Right now I feel Because I feel like an idiot
Right now I'm at My bed
Right now I'm listening to Watercolour - Pendulum

It's quite interesting... I don't think anyone will think that I'm an educated florist, that my favorite buildings in town is the library, museum and church and that I have huge interest in comics and Asia. At least not when I walk through town dressed in a black biker jacket, brown/green cargo pants and my regular cap...

Seriously, the only give away for anything with popular culture is my pink umbrella. Otherwise, I have no damn idea what to say, I can't find any relation between my looks and my interests. Writing, reading and poetry maybe, but just maybe.

If you'd see me at town, would you believe it was me as you know me?

Day 33: A really short song.

I always think this song is so damn short... Though, I really love it~

( The other 67 days~ )

Right now I feel Dunno why...
Right now I'm at My desk

Day 11: A song from an artist you are attracted to.

Uuuuhm, here's a fun thing about me, I won't feel attraction unless I talk to the person in question in some way o3o'

So instead, have a song that would make me die happy if I ever received it from someone that I love.

( The other 89 days~ )

Right now I feel giddy
Right now I'm at My desk
Right now I'm listening to Just the way you are - Bruno Mars

( If you don't doubt the human race's perfection and the fact that Mother Nature needs us very much, don't read this. )

These thoughts came to me when the "first" tsunami hit Thailand in the year of 2004. I was 12 years old then and these thoughts has followed me ever since. Sorry if they make you uncomfortable, but I needed to write them down.

Edit: Please read my answer to all the other comments before commenting, I've started to re-value but am too lazy to change the actual post.

Right now I'm at School library
Right now I'm listening to Watercolour - Pendulum

A song I want to give to all of you women I know has gone through loss, through hard times and pain and death. I know all of you have a little life in you yet, a little strength left. And if you ever need more, just talk to me. You who read this, we might not talk that much, we might talk at every moment we can, we might share a language and we might be so far away two people possibly can.

But I am here. Not to redeem myself before myself, not since I want to feel better (honestly, I feel too much for other people's pain...) but since I CARE. I care too much sometimes, true, and some might find me unnerving. And I accept that. You think that I am too much, push me away. You feel like talking later, I'm here.

As they say in one of my favorite Arcs in One Piece; I (WE ARE) AM HERE. This is my giant, golden bell ringing out to you.

Right now I feel anxious

Then I would load my cell full, call

slowsunrise and send messages to all of my friends in the Scouts, saying that I love them. I would ask the girl I'm in love with (who doesn't love me back) if I could get to kiss her, just once. I would do everything I could to send a letter to Oda-sensei and say that I love his work and that I hope he'll always be as awesome as he is.

Then I would try and call

stini_c too, for once get to hear her voice. And while I was on that, I would ask her to give my greatest love to

vtm577 and Chrissy. I would send messages to one of my Leading Stars and ask her to tell the others' that they meant EVERYTHING for me in 8th grade, I would probably have cut myself if it hadn't been for them. I would tell a girl in my class that I think she acts like a complaining bitch and all the others that they for God's sake needs to stand up for themselves and say things to each others' faces instead.

Also, I would put up chapters which told what was planned to happen in all of my fanfictions!

And during all this time, I would want

sweden_chan and my parents next to me. Maybe even sweden_chan's parents, they've also meant a lot to me. I would send such great hugs I just could to my extra mother. I would...

I would cry. I would laugh. I would wish that it wasn't happening. I would wish it could just come. Since if I knew I were going to die today, then the wait would be much worse than the happening. But maybe that's not true either.

The worst... Would be leaving all the people I love behind. I'm not afraid of death, I'm afraid of hurting you guys I've listed!! I love you all. Please never forget that...

Right now I feel content

I don't think I have any right whatsoever to claim this to be a Samhein (One of the greatest Wiccan festivals, if not the greatest. I don't really trust Wiki on it and I don't feel like bugging Stini with asking ^^') poem, I can only say that

stini_c telling me about it made me wanna write about it. And I've had this urge to write to riverdance music for some time now, so I just got down to it XD

( In the glowing light )

Right now I'm listening to Reel around the sun

( ... )

Right now I feel groggy
Right now I'm at A train
Right now I'm listening to My perfect enemy - tAtU

Ever thought about how people view you, and how you view yourself? We all have layers of different kinds and types.

I know this awesome girl who is like a cake, just thinking about her makes you happy! Still you know that there is a lot of hard work behind it. She's just one of that kind of people that this world needs more of, the ones who doesn't let a little burn on the edge or bottom pull them down.

Me, I got this hard shield protecting a too sensitive inside where I lives, getting hurt and loving too easily. But what I want is to reach deeper inside, to my core which is a tree. Standing with both my feet on the ground, stretching myself towards the heaven and the sky, having the strength to do whatever I want and then end it beatifully.

How are you? Are you protecting yourself, or do you wander around so everyone can see all of you?

Right now I feel peaceful
Right now I'm listening to My life would suck without you

S	M	T	W	T	F	S
				1	2	3
4	5	6	7	8	9	10
11	12	13	14	15	16	17
18	19	20	21	22	23	24
25	26	27	28	29	30	31

I live on the dark side of the moon.

So sorry for the randomness.

DON'T comment in case you DISlike Lady Gaga.

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I don't think I'll ever be a hero, but I want to be here.

If I would die today...

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SlowSunrise should have a tattoo on her forehead...

Me beneath me

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December 2011

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