The list of hate and love

Many people have told me not to hate myself... So I made a list of reasons to why I should hate or love myself;

( Reasons to why I should hate/love myself... )

My dream (Apparently I'm masochistic for pouring my heart out like this...)

 I sit in the dark, I'm not even wearing my glasses, 'cause I have to write this realization down before it escapes my floating mind or my dad finds out... That realization is, I now know how to overcome those things I hate about myself. It is quite simple. I only have to produce something which makes all the people I respect and love from the bottom of my heart say: Good job! We love you and we respect you!

For A-chan, mom, dad, my 'Leading Stars', slowsunrise and my Nee-sans to say something like that... It seems impossible as I am right now. But it would weight oh so much heavier that all those times I've been bullied 'cause of my name, 'cause I do things a bit different, 'cause I got a short temper because I got bullied... And I want them to say it from their hearts, like I do. I love you guys, mom and dad knows that, I can tell them that to their faces every day, but I don't.

So in the end, for me to stop hating myself, and finally get that dream, I have a very long way to go, full of self loathing.